How to love your new #mombod

Are you not lovin' your Mom-bod? Let me tell you somethin'

It's not your job to be hot. 

I am paid to sell houses. Victoria Secret models are paid to look thin. Those models probably don't know squat about putting together a real estate transaction and I wouldn't expect them to. So why would I expect myself to be qualified for their job?

Do you know why those stories about celebrity Moms being in bikini shape 7 days after having a baby make the news? Because outrageous stories make the news. Some of the expectations we have on ourselves are outrageous. We play the comparison game against our friends, celebrities, and complete strangers!  The comparison game is like an escape room. Most people lose and come out frustrated. Yes some Moms instantly bounce back into shape without any effort aka unicorn Moms. You cannot become a unicorn, either you are born as one or you are not. 

You are also no longer a pony. 

If you built a rocket ship, no one would care about the condition of the lab you built it in. They would just be in awe that you built a rocket ship! Well, you built something more amazing than that, you built a human baby! Pfff rocket science schmience. Forget what the lab looks like right now, just celebrate the rocket ship! 

I am all about setting goals and fuelling your body well, but I also realize that changing your lifestyle doesn't happen overnight. It may be a long journey. You might as well try to be kind to yourself instead of being hard on yourself for the ride. It is more of a mental battle than a physical one. Tell that judgemental mean girl voice in your head to go stuff it! Just like that cheesy stuffed jalapeño popper  quinoa stuffed tomato that you are going to stuff down your pie hole.  

It took 9 months of eating cheeseburgers and lasagnas to grow the baby, so it is going to take at least 9 months of eating chia seeds and kale to lose the baby weight. So have patience with yourself!

Whether you're breastfeeding or bottle feeding, you need calories aka energy to take care of your new baby. It is hard physical work recovering from labour/major surgery AND taking care of a baby all while being sleep deprived. Don't worry about cutting calories right now. Just eat as healthy as you can and if some days you eat like crap, have a little grace with those endless fries.

Food for thought: that scripture about our bodies being a temple is often taken out of context. The presence of God is within us. (no longer in just temple buildings but within our bodies.) The point of that passage is that God's presence goes with us everywhere we go--it doesn't just exist in church buildings. So don't go and get skinny because the Bible told you to. 

Lastly, I want to encourage you to celebrate your victories. Nothing like some good ol fashion positive reinforcement. If you went for a walk, if you had a healthy snack, if you drank enough water in the day give yourself a pat on the back. Some days I feel like I should get a trophy just for keeping my children alive that day.

We are unique and we are loved by our Heavenly Father regardless of our shape. We are Moms. We are incredible creations who have been chosen to create & raise little humans. So pull up your Spanx and walk with some Mom swagger because you are an amazing person.

Why we named our son, Leo Benjamin

Why we named our son, Leo Benjamin.

Leo in Latin translates to Lion. About 3 years ago, I had gone to my mentor for some prayer during a tough time. During listening prayer I had seen an image of a Lion carrying me through some green grass. I believe it was a reminder that I could cling to Jesus as my strong protector and by His strength, He would carry me through.  When I got home I had shared with Tyson a verse that my mentor shared with me during our prayer time. I had accidentally given Tyson the wrong verse to look up but I was certain that I had remembered it correctly. I was confused, however when he read the verse, it all made sense. I had never read the verse before and it perfectly described the image I had seen during prayer! That was a huge affirmation that Jesus was assuring me and giving me hope that I could always trust in Him. This was the verse:

Do not be afraid, you wild animals,

for the pastures in the wilderness are becoming green.

Since then, the Lion has been an image that reminds me of the Lord's love & protection. Lions are known as natural leaders who are strong, brave and fearless.  As Leo will be our oldest son, we pray that he will be a leader and a protector of his future younger sibling(s) (Lord willing!). 

We gave him the middle name "Benjamin" in honor of Leo's auntie Lana. If she were to have kids, she would name her son Benjamin. Her sister is also an avid fan of Ben Matlock. But, Leo doesn't need to know that he's named after the main character of an 80's daytime TV show. :)

Don't go to bed with an angry T-Rex

I stumbled across some 'Advice for the Bride' cards from my wedding shower.  The most common advice was from Ephesians 4:26...basically, don't go to bed angry. 

BUT HOW do you get un-angry when your emotions are are high, 

you're exhausted, grumpy, fed up and the sun is going down?

I would like to say I hop to bed like a fairytale princess, kiss my prince goodnight, flutter my eyelashes and exhale as I gently fall into a slumber. --Not quite-- It's more like I hog the sheets, tell my prince to 'move over', grumble about how he hasn't taken out the garbage and then start snoring. 

I used to think I should vent about my grievances in our marital bed at night because it's 'biblical'. Sounds so hot right?
 As if anyone wants to hear "and another thing that bothers me about you..." right before they're about to fall asleep. Ugh. When we were first married I had said those exact words to my husband right before bed.  After I verbally puked on him, I let out an internal sigh of relief which allowed me to peacefully fall asleep. The critical words I had said to him tossed and turned in his head all night. I left him all alone like that. :(

One of those personality tests defined me as a T-Rex and my husband as a rabbit.  It means I like to fix problems and hash things out right away and my husband likes to avoid conflict if possible. So when conflict arises, this little T-Rex starts chasing that rabbit! No wonder the Lord is challenging me to be more gracious. 

I used to think that marriage meant I had someone I could completely process every thought with, whether good or bad without consequence.  I realized, there is consequence.  
Marriage is not a free-for-all. I'm still accountable for what I say. 

My husband cannot be my God. He cannot take away my burdens, he cannot heal my heart and he cannot save me. I chose a husband who is like Jesus, but he can't BE Jesus to me.

What does the bible say? "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"...but that is only part of the verse. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4

How am I learning get un-angry before the sun goes down?

• I'm learning to talk to Jesus openly about my grievances and allowing Him to speak truth and perspective to me

• I pray for my 'enemies' (which isn't easy) and ask Jesus to show me how He sees them

• Before saying something harsh or opinionated, I try to ask myself: "Is it profitable for me to say that?"

• I'm trying to have more intentional conversations when I'm not tired or h-angry with my husband. We have healthier conversations about any conflicts we have during walks around the neighbourhood, during long drives, or at a coffee shop (after I've eaten).

• If it is at night, we will pray about the issue together

• When I want to give someone a piece of my mind because 'they deserve it', I try to remember how much grace God has showed me. The consequence of my sin is death, so even though I 'deserve' death, through Jesus I have been 'gifted' eternal life. I should gift that grace forward when the opportunity presents itself (aka when someone wrongs me).

"Grace is offensive to those who want blood and vengeance."

 I like that quote...because I just wrote it.

Why do Christians raise their hands in worship?

I used to think they were ‘extra holy’ and proud of it. I also thought they must have great blood circulation to have their arms up song after song. The first time I tried to use a sock bun I had my hands over my head for 5 minutes and my arms felt like jelly all day. Why would anyone want to do that?

So I turned to the place of all knowledge and wisdom… 

...google

I found at least a dozen bible verses talking about lifting hands in praise and surrender to God.

Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the LORD. Psalm 134: 2

The bible also mentions the word ‘extol’ repeatedly, which means to highly praise. One of the seniors at my church explained extolling as taking yourself out of the picture and just worshiping God.  

Take yourself out of it.

By removing yourself, what objection stands?

“God hasn't done anything for ME lately to raise my hands about” 

- it’s not about you or your rating of God’s ‘performance’

“I wasn't raised in a family who did that”

 – it’s not about your upbringing. My bible is my authority and example to follow above all.

1977 NCAA Fans

“I’m not comfortable being that expressive or emotional”

 – really? If you were at a stadium concert of your favourite band or at NHL play off game, would you just stand there stoically? 
You don’t clap, cheer, sing along loudly, maybe even raise your hands in joyful moments?

 Do you psyche yourself differently for those types of events?

Lou > Jesus?
Remember when Luongo had the most saves (72) in a single game in 2011?  Remember when Jesus saved the entire world in a single resurrection?

“I am man *grunt” 

– good for you. I am woman. It’s not about your masculinity

“I'll be the odd one out and I don't want others to judge me”

 – be the change. don't feed the culture of insecurity. Man CANNOT judge you, only God can. Go to the throne of God and tell him you don't raise your hands because you're afraid Billy Reimer might look at you. Oh no, not Billy Reimer!

“what if my armpits are smelly?”

 –  take a shower before church!

http://flic.kr/p/341rM

CAVEAT: If you don’t raise your hands in worship, then please know I’m not judging you as the worship police.  I hate to break it to you, but when I worship the creator of the universe, I’m not worried about you. I’m just sharing how my husband and I wrestle with the above questions of lifting our own hands in worship.  Ultimately, that is a conversation between you and God.  I’m not forcing you to put your hands up…this isn’t a stick up. 

  I do however ask this: How does your heart of worship manifest through your body?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship
 - Romans 12:1 

 This is actually a question of the heart, not of the hands.

I was afraid that people would think if I raised my hands I was claiming to be a perfect Christian, pffff. 

 It’s not about me feeling worthy enough to worship with lifted hands, it is about how worthy God is.  

 In worship, I’m singing in the presence of a God who knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I’m singing to Jesus who lovingly rescues me from a finite life of addiction to things that I can't take with me when I die (wealth, vanity, success, relationships etc). How great it is to be fully known, forgiven and understood. I’m singing to the King of Kings…the one true God.

I raise my hands in surrender, in awe, in gratitude, in desperation and in joy. 
It's also a physical reminder to focus. 

He is worthy of my voice, my expression, my emotions--my all. 

For Him, I'm willing to look like a fool.

As my self-focus and self-pity goes down, my hands go up.

If you don’t know if God is worthy of your praise and surrender, then that’s another blog…actually more like your own spiritual journey.  If you want the story of my spiritual epiphany that hit me a few years ago, just ask me for it.

But if you believe Jesus is who He says he is (and was and is to come)…then I challenge you to at least ‘raise your hand’ in prayer and ask God about all this…see what He says.

 I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. -Psalm 63:4